welcome to part two of a little series i began yesterday.
i’m not gonna lie, part two is long
it’s r e a l l y f r e a k i n g l o n g
it breaks all grammar rules + ideal-blog-length-to-keep-your-readers-captivated rules.
it’s broken into two parts of technical stuff + artsy fartsy stuff
…and me stuff, because i’m wordy and have so many feelings.
so maybe get some snacks, a pen + a notebook and let’s get started shall we?

so last night i went to bed pretty weepy (shocker, i know) from the response the blog got yesterday. weepy because it felt good to put some feels out there that i’m not the only one feeling, and also a little bit because i feel like i haven’t yet tapped into my truest purpose (career wise) and i feel like maybe, just maybe i’m getting a little warmer…

so, i want to begin this next phase of this series with a real life story to help you make sense of what i’m after here. the example that comes to mind when i think of how to tackle this challenge is one of my favorite portraits of jo and i that i’ve ever taken. we were in the kitchen doing dinner prep stuff, and for whatever reason i feel compelled to tell you that this isn’t just an ordinary kitchen either, this kitchen first belonged to her GREAT grand grandparents! marty and i were lucky enough to buy his father’s childhood home right before she was born! how kick ass is that? anyway, where were we? oh yeah, so jo was splashing in the sink, and there i was chopping up the veggies that i would eventually wind up burning. at some point her and i caught eyes over our shoulders, and i had this thought come over me. i wondered if somehow all this time we spent in this space, and in this sink would somehow bond us for life in kitchens. i wondered if maybe thirty years from now, her and i would always find each other there, and if it would be because of moments like this. if you know me at all, you know that this wondering quickly grew into thinking of how perfect it would be if someday she found herself at her own kitchen sink missing me, longing to hear my voice and feel me near, and that this photo would exist, that it might wrap her up in comfort, and maybe for a second make her feel like i wasn’t so far.  it was like i zoomed into the future and found myself lost in a story that hadn’t even been written yet (something i do often). upon coming back down to earth, i grabbed the phone because it was the closest camera i had. i grabbed a stack of books off one of the end tables in the living room for some height, and balanced the phone up against one of jo’s sippy cups, and i set the timer on my phone for 10 seconds…

this photo exists.
the ease in my heart that i feel knowing that she will have this when i’m not here to tell the stories of this kitchen is too much for words, but do you wanna know what the best part of this photo actually is? it’s what i decided to include within the frame. its the details of this photograph that say so much about who we are, what our values are (or what we strive for them to be) and obviously that i’ll have the mouth of a sailor until the end of time.

there are probably 20 other versions of this photograph because it took that many for jo to stop laughing at me running back and forth like a crazy person and to finally bring her attention back to the sink. of course the goal is to get it as quick as possible, but that’s the beauty of digital photography guys. remember this, and embrace that shit. it doesn’t mean the moment isn’t authentic, or that you aren’t authentic, it means that you have the patience and foresight to get it right. i could have easily chosen a photo of her smiling and laughing during the process, but that’s not what made me want the photo in the first place.

so let’s talk about technique real quick. the great news is that this is the easiest part!

what you need:

1. a camera, whether this be your phone or a fancier camera with a self timer, it’s up to you. there are cameras all over our house. my phone is always near, disposable cameras in every purse and diaper bag, and planted all over the house. i i think i even have one in the bathroom. if you don’t want to do the running back and forth everytime, you can buy a bluetooth wireless remote that connects to your phone and it won’t cost you your first born. seriously, like $7.29 guys.

2. stacks of books, duct tape, sippy cups, etc. whatever is in reach to give you the height and balance you need to get the shot you want. i think the most interesting photo i’ve taken with my cell phone has become our family ceiling series. i didn’t want any distractions from us, and the only thing i could come up with was duct taping my phone to the ceiling. i’ll never forget marty’s face the first time we did this, and the pieces of ceiling that came off with the tape are still there.
BE WILLING TO DO WEIRD SHIT TO GET YOUR SHOT.

3. light! Light! LIGHT!!!!!!!! pay attention to the places in your house that get the best amount of light, and try creative ways to get the portraits that you want in those spaces. where does the light during sunrise and sunset pour through your windows? GO OUTSIDE. start noticing where the light dances on your walls and floors and when, and then start noticing the things that happen in those spaces at those times. the light in our kitchen around dinner time is seriously so incredible that sometimes it takes my breath away the way it changes the entire room. once i realized this, i started making this time of day a time when we hung out there, and it’s just become a thing. be flexible…more on this coming…

4. location, Location, LOCATION!!!!! don’t be afraid to notice that your babe is extra snuggly while you’re lounging in your trashed living room and don’t hesitate to take those snuggles somewhere a bit less cluttered. i really love the light in our bedroom at all times of the day, and the white wall backdrop and the semi even light coming in from the windows allows for the focus to go straight to her (and hopefully not my teenage pimply skin!)  also remember that this is real life. our houses get messy and trashed, don’t be afraid to incorporate that into your frame as well. i have a dear friend who speaks of her mess often, but when i see it, i think it’s so damn beautiful because it’s like proof of life. it’s proof that the days are filled with all those ordinary things that tend to blur at some point. so in other words, just own your shit.

5. CLEAN YOUR PHONE LENS!!! this should honestly be the first bit of advice because it is THAT important. i think it’s safe to say that most of you are going to be using a phone camera (that’s what i use 90% of the time) so before you do ANYTHING, do that. EVERY SINGLE TIME. all you need is your own warm breath + the shirt you’re wearing. i am seriously dying laughing just imagining so many of you doing this for the first time and realizing the quality of your phone photos increasing immediately just because you aren’t shooting through french fry grease you globbed onto the lens yesterday when you grabbed your phone out of your purse to quickly catch that video of your kid dancing in their car seat in the drive-thru.

technically speaking, this is all you need. so let’s move onto the list of artsy needs where most of you are likely feeling the most nervous about…
1. you need a moment, what is happening that is making you wish someone else would reach for the camera and take the photo of? whenever that feeling consumes you, that is an opportunity to take on this challenge. CARPE THE SHIT OUT OF THAT MOMENT. recognize it, CLEAN YOUR GODDAMN LENS, and then make it happen. okay wait hang on, i’m getting ahead of myself! first you need to ask yourself why, and then you need to ask yourself what the image would say if you weren’t there to explain it to the viewer. sometimes those two questions will make me put the camera down entirely. it’s kinda how i know when i’m shooting for the right reasons (now i sound like i’ve been binging too many episodes of the bachelorette, can you freaking believe rachel last night???)

2. patience, because the struggle is real and it doesn’t always just happen the first time, every time. the more practice you get, the quicker you’ll get. take your time setting up the frame. be thoughtful of what you see in the frame. clear anything that distracts, unless it’s part of your story. figure out if your goal of the photo is to document people and/or environment, and then compose accordingly. sometimes this is the hardest part of the process for people. this is the point when they kinda throw their hands in the air and give up. don’t do that. sometimes it takes me days to really think about a photo that i’ve thought of and actually bring it to life.

3. a photo editing app on your phone (i use VSCO, but there are tons out there!) just remember that moments are moments, and editing them is a bonus. your kids aren’t going to care what filter you used, they’re just going to appreciate the memory itself. what happens is that eventually you can’t see how far you’ve strayed from the original photograph, and it can get real messy, real fast. less is always more. black and white is the first edit i always make. it might sound a bit weird, but that’s just kinda how i see every image in my head before it actually happens. you want your edits to enhance the story you’re telling with the photo, not hide it or slather it in post processing muck. a good way to gauge this is to pay attention to whether or not the color in the photo actually matches the color in real life, if it doesn’t, start over.

5. vulnerability, which will likely be the hardest part until you get a process of your own. you’re going find that it can be incredibly uncomfortable to be in front of the camera like this, and you need to fight through that discomfort. please remember that you are not an attention seeking narcissist for taking these photographs. when you set that timer and get ready to stand in the frame, take a deep breath, remember the vision you have of the photo, and embody who that mother is in your mind, and give yourself the permission to BE HER. get to know yourself and your face with your front facing camera. i think your confidence in the photograph is as important as any other component, so work on getting yourself comfortable in front of the camera.

6. flexibility, the goal doesn’t always have to be some extravagant set up. it can be as simple as doing selfies. you can start by no longer calling them crappy iPhone photos and treating them like they somehow don’t count. THEY COUNT. almost all of the photos you’re about to see below were taken with my phone. the most important thing is recognizing and acknowledging your desire to be in the photo, and then taking the action to make it happen. i cannot say enough that you owe none of us an explanation for why. your children will likely never say “why did mom take so many photos with us growing up?” just remember that everything is best in moderation.

i want to end by telling you something…
outside of our birth photographer, not a single person took a photo of jo and i when she was first born, if i had waited for someone else to take one, we wouldn’t have a photo of us together in the hospital after we were settled. if i had waited, there wouldn’t be a photo of the last time we nursed. if i had waited there’d be no photo of jo and the wisk that she had such a love affair with. if i had waited there’d be no evidence of my linea nigra or my squishy mom bod, to which both that have since disappeared that symbolized the work i had done to carry and birth her. if i had waited, there’d be no photo that represented this incredibly short amount of time where i was constantly being touched simultaneously by jo and our pup and was losing my mind. if i had waited, there’d be no photo to go with the story about her discovering my nose for the first time. if i had waited, my husband’s favorite photo of us brushing our teeth together wouldn’t exist.

if i had waited, if i had waited, if i had waited…

please don’t miss one more second by waiting because no one is served by that choice, and when you do get the courage to start taking this matter into your own hands, please please please do me a favor and share them with me by tagging them #ifihadwaited so that i can ohhhh and ahhhh and clobber them with all the heart eye emoticons + love.

coming next, will be a Live Q&A either on FB or Instagram, please subscribe to the blog or follow me on instagram to be sure you don’t miss that announcement, or the announcement of a special “workshop” of sorts that will be just for regular mom folk this coming fall + winter that will entail a more hands on and personal guide to help those who are seeking a bit more guidance than this. details to come!

i hope if nothing else, this gives you permission and inspiration to take this into your own hands rather than waiting for your partner to make it happen for you.

xo,

britt

how painful a thought to imagine if these never existed?