i’m a little surprised how stuck in the weekend my thoughts have been. i’m always guilty of lingering and ruminating and wallowing and such, but this is something different…

there’s a persistent pull back to these images, and it’s got me wondering if it’s something like a kind of self preservation happening. like my mind and body know that i need to remain swept up by the power within them. like some invisible and powerful force knows that i need to live inside these photographs until what they mean to me becomes so everlasting that i wear them on me like skin.

………….

at the last sort of minute, we packed up our bags and we hit the road for chicago. it’s been such a strange sort of winter… the gray, the cold, the wet… cabin fever has been finding us more times than i can count.

cousins. cousins will breathe life back into you, i thought…

i had absolutely no clue how truly right i would be about this. what i didn’t realize ahead of time though, was that the weekend would also make space for me to see clearly, and to practice the act of challenging my negative thoughts, and to breathe truths right back into them. i just got done telling a friend last night that i’m the better version of my mom self when i’m outside of the home, and i believe it’s because i’m not surrounded by distractions. i am forced to be totally immersed into whatever is going on, and because of that i am more patient, open and in tune with the world around me.

what i love most is that the weekend wasn’t filled with anything extraordinary, and yet extraordinary says everything about how these photos make me feel. we made homemade pizzas, and had a fizzy and blue bath in the big garden tub, and you all lived your best lives riding around in the basement and dancing and reminding each other about the rules.

i’m the proudest i have ever felt, for a million and one reasons, but mostly because i can see now that compassion, and love, and change and grace has a beautiful way of trickling through families, eventually carving out just enough room for growth and healing for those who seek it…